About Nessona, and myself.

I spent today thinking about things. From video blogs to tiny bits of memory picked from a shell of consciousness. Wondering why anyone would question me then questioning myself.

A picture says everything. Drawn by my first adopted person, one of my closest friends, Kanny. It shows the part of Nessona that is me, the lover of goomy, the small one who sits there grinning and adjusting my hat because I always adjust what is on my head. Glasses, hat, hair.

And Nessona. How can a fake pokemon, a dead charmander who is also a shiny mega gengar express oneself? How can she claim to be me, while I claim to be her?

It is the world of OCs that our age has encountered. Most diehard pokemon fans have at least one pokesona. Some have more. I personally have several. But Nessona, she was more than a pokesona, she was me.

My first pokemon game was Yellow. An experience in itself, I was the person who kept Pikachu with me at all times. But the free Charmander on the route, as soon as I got it, it was in my party to stay. Charmander was the pokemon I loved before I knew what pokemon was. The little salamander from a tv show on before school, a little twat who wouldn't listen to anyone without them earning respect.

Sure, there was the evolution, but I always felt a connection to charmander. The smallest, the cutest. Squirtle was cooler, and Bulbasaur was tougher...but Charmander was the sassiest.

And so it went.

The yellow game progressed, and I came upon the lovely Lavender tower. Spooky, haunted. My party consisting of Alakazam (gen 1, psychic was overpowered), Pikachu, Charmeleon (at this point), and Butterfree (hey, sleep powder is useful). There, I caught Haunter.

Now my team consisted of a useless electric type who I kept because it followed me around, an OP psychic, an OP ghost, my flaming lizard (and HM champ, because I thought HMs were cool moves), and a butterfly that made things sleep.

The haunter quickly caught my fancy with it's silly attitude, it was dead, but it was still childish. Gengar was the same. I made a headcannon that the line was children and first-evo (child) pokemon.

Then, skip a few years. Kalos comes out. Shiny mega gengar is a beautiful white child. WITH GAUNTLETS! The part of me that loved gengar melted. I was besotten.

But I still related heavily with charmander as well.

So, Nessona was born. A ghost of a charmander, who had been a shiny gastly in the afterlife, stuck in a mega evolution due to unforseen circumstances (she was buried with an everstone, a reminder to stay young in heart). White with tints of orange, gauntlet arms, and eyes that change color randomly.

And she was me. A person who suffers depression, yet lives for helping and caring for others. I have a sad mind, she has a sad backstory.

And for the sake of others, we smile.